“You’re not the same as you were before,” he said. You were much more… muchier… you’ve lost your muchness.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland
Have you ever felt that way? I’ve totally been there! I’ve felt lost and adrift trying to conform to what/who I thought I was supposed to be in the past. Now, like Alice upon hearing that, I’m finding and appreciating my ‘muchness’ again… Exploring and being my FULL self. Declaring that I am not TOO MUCH (nor ‘not enough’), at least not too much for myself and LIFE. I wonder what it would be like if we could all accept our full selves and feel fully accepted as we are… if we could actually love with ‘all of ourselves’ and ‘all of each other’ – not just in romantic relationships or families, tribes, etc.
The lyrics from the song by John Legend caught my attention a few times recently while I was painting:
“All of me
Loves all of you
Love your curves and all your edges
All your perfect imperfections
Give your all to me”
I don’t know HOW to do this. I realize how fragile we are, yet how strong as well. I’m trying to explore and learn… both how to be/offer ‘all of me’ and also how to love humanity with all our imperfections. While I appreciate all the charities that are out there and financial aspects of giving, it seems we need more than canned goods, clothing, pharmaceuticals. etc. While I’m so grateful for those that can and do heal the body (my boys wouldn’t be here otherwise!), maybe we also need medicine for the spirit. Maybe sharing our lives, unpolished, unmasked, unscripted might be part of it… being able to ’embrace our vulnerability,’ as Brene Brown says, and be honest with each other… celebrating the joys and sweet stuff and all the ‘highlights,’ YET also reaching out for a hug when we need one and offering a hug or a gentle smile or small act of kindness – not for pity, rather for communion. We are all trying to find our way through our bittersweet lives with brave hearts.
So, on this full moon and with a brave heart, I’m sharing pages from my handwritten journals/prayers just as they were written, which was not with an intention to share with anyone else in this format! I did think I might refer to these pages to write a blog post, yet not unfiltered, uncensored in this way. May we find ways to step past our comfort zones and cultures, beliefs, presumptions, prejudices, and differences to be able to respect one another and the life that flows through all of us with grace.
I’m sharing from 2 journals. Yes, I have a lot going on in my head and heart! Like I said, I’m embracing my ‘muchness.’ I’m not apologizing for it nor expecting everyone to fully appreciate it. Take it or leave it… obviously, that’s up to you! For any that do choose to take the time to read/hear it, thank you for opening your heart to witness this from my heart. I just started a journal last night that I’m calling my ‘book of blessings.’ It will be reserved for writing about that sort of time/energy specifically… such as a sort of ritual I chose to do over the past 24 hours during the Harvest Full Moon to really focus on my prayers and intentions about creative offerings and livelihood.
Here’s a short excerpt from it:
The other journal is just a notebook that I use most mornings to write (about anything!).
It felt rather long and indeed, like a bit ‘much’ to share the pictures of all the pages, yet I’ve still read them in the following video… embracing even more vulnerability to be seen in this way while getting over a head cold! This is the longer, full ‘muchness’ version if you’re up for the whole shebang.! 😉
If anyone actually wants to see the full other video about the prayer and altar. Let me know in comments and I’ll add it as well. 🙂
I was inspired to share FULLY in this way partly by the book I just finished by Lisa Lister and also by the Mystic Mamma full moon post I read earlier today at: http://www.mysticmamma.com/full-moon-in-aries-october-5th-2017/. As Leah Whitehorse said from that post:
“Rather than going on the warpath, we’ve got to make conscientious decisions that take into account our health and welfare. Adding in some love medicine wouldn’t hurt either… We are all souls having a human experience… Sometimes we make mistakes and correction is necessary but it can be done without tearing each other down.”
Yes! May we learn how to cooperate and even disagree and compromise and empower and encourage without tearing each other down. May we lean in to life with deep reverence for the breath that we share. May we appreciate our ‘muchness’ and be fully alive with one another. May we thrive true in harmony.
Yes, I’m a big dreamer like Yoko and Lennon. Thankfully, I’m not the only one!
AND, yes, I hope that there is true power in prayer… and kindness in action as well.
Thank you for sharing this time with me.
Wonderful Well Wishes,
Julia/Jules
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