***** If you’re the type that prefers to skim the headlines, I’ve put a few bold lines for you as highlights, including the prayers that go along with the paintings. If you ‘re more like me and you like the details, the whole story, and are often one of the last one’s up for the late night conversations (after party?), grab a drink, get comfy and thanks for listening! 😉 [And please excuse the bold type for the skimmers] *****
Oh, Yeah…..
(in the style of the song by Yello from the Ferris Bueller soundtrack if you know it!!!) ♪ ♫ ♪ It’s been stuck in my head for days now! 😉
I’m ready to harvest honey and happiness on this Harvest Full Moon. How about you?!? YES?!
I’m ready to take a deep breath, slow down, and enjoy the present. I’ve been a busy bee and it’s almost time for the next Thrive True e-zine which will be published next week for the September Equinox! So grateful for the vision and the amazing contributors that have also said YES to make it happen! Doing this has filled my time with beauty and inspiration and nourished a more cooperative way of being. I’ve also shared more about the harvesting honey idea in one of the articles. 🙂 You can sign-up for the free Thrivivalist Newsletter to say YES to receiving this gift when it is published.
In addition, I’ve gone back to my roots and have been Painting Prayers again. I guess I often do this without even realizing it, yet this time it has been very intentional! I recently learned a little bit about the idea of healing glyphs and have combined that idea with the prayerful painting I’ve done all along to create a free gift with these 3 images that I’d like to offer to anyone who would like to receive them. When it comes to a lot of holistic/new age/ancient wisdom ideas, my family and I have a pretty “why not?” attitude and are willing to consider lots of things with an open head and heart. As usual, I actually have quite a bit to say about the story behind these 3 paintings. In case you missed it in the very beginning: If you’re the type that prefers to skim the headlines, I’ve put a few bold lines for you as highlights, including the prayers that go along with the paintings. If you ‘re more like me and you like the details, the whole story, and are often one of the last one’s up for the late night conversations (after party?), grab a drink, get comfy and thanks for listening! 😉 [And please excuse the bold type for the skimmers]
The seemingly simple “YES” painting shared above came about after a somewhat revelatory experience for me. I’ve struggled with a ’scarcity’ mentality and feeling/fear of lack and suffering for a long time. Yet, I have always had a strong desire to give generously, of time, energy, and financially! These 2 attitudes have been at odds as I often want to purchase art, books, and other creative offerings directly from the artists to support them (such as recently purchasing the SoulFlower Cards, 3 of which are featured in September e-zine) and fill my life with (or give the gift of) beauty at the same time… or wanting to travel and support those that run local restaurants, inns, and tours while also quenching my wanderlust… or donating to the many worthwhile charitable causes, such as those for hungry children and abused women… or investing the time to put together an offering like the e-zine without asking for or needing any financial compensation! I wonder how many can relate?
I’ve also struggled with and tried to let go of my ambitious desires to reach and inspire lots of people, to have thousands of followers on social media, subscribers to my offerings, to be like successful women I admire (and have admittedly envied!), etc. I’ve struggled with these desires because I thought it was somehow ’wrong’ and didn’t think I ’should’ chase ‘fame and fortune’. I’ve questioned my true motivations. While going to sleep after painting the colorful, fluid backgrounds for these 3 paintings and wishing for clarity (also after watching a lesson for Alena Hennessy’s Year of Healing course, reading ‘Happiness Now’ by Robert Holden, researching more about an idea to use glyphs for healing that I stumbled upon online, & finishing the Celebration Thrivival course content), I felt a breakthrough of sorts, a breaking free, from the ‘shoulds’ & ‘should nots’ – I’ve considered similar ideas before. I listened to the “Soul of Money” by Lynne Twist a few years ago and had a shift in my thinking. I read a book by Osho this year and his take on wealth flowing through us generating more wealth. Yet, I’ve still had resistance… My grandparents lived during the depression so I was definitely raised to be frugal. I’m also aware of the vast amount of waste in the world and have a bleeding heart for the environment. I’ve tried re-defining wealth for myself… to be more comfortable with this desire… to mean wealthy with joy, love, laughter, creativity, beauty, community, etc. Yet, I’ve still struggled with these desires and even fought them! I considered them aspects of an annoying needy ego and rarely admitted them and didn’t welcome them with a big YES!
That night, I thought that what I really desire is freedom and connection (another paradox of life!). I said YES over & over as I was drifting off to sleep after envisioning the mutual joy and gratitude for myself and others from being free to connect, support, inspire, encourage, and share the love, respect, beauty, joy, appreciation, health and wealth! The next morning, I sat down to the 3 colorful canvases that had dried from the previous evening with prayerful energy and considering the idea of glyphs for healing in art. I had browsed through a book about sacred symbols the night before and the shape referred to as a “Dragon’s Eye” really resonated with me. I chose to add that shape (the upside down triangle with a Y in it) to each of the 3 paintings and intuitively added other details. I added the words “I can see clearly now” to one of the canvases, which has multiple meanings to me, both physically and intuitively, and gave it to my son who recently started having trouble with his eyesight (turns out quite severe and I’m thankful for a good optometrist!).
I had the Pearl Jam lyrics “Fade Away” stuck in my head so I altered them a bit and added these words “fearful thoughts they fade…. fade away” with an old paint pen that was running out of ink to the next canvas. I also added the word YES to acknowledge, accept, and even celebrate the experience the night before.
Fast forward a few weeks to last night (Sept 15th). I was feeling unsure about the message that I wanted to share for this Harvest Moon blog post (that I had already written draft of) and the messages for my e-zine contributions, which I had also finished drafts of. I was feeling the doubt and hearing the critical voice(s) in my head wondering if and what I should actually share… wondering if I’m being self-centered – the way I learned it to be a ‘selfish’, unattractive/unbecoming thing – or Self-centered – in a way that is being true to my ‘higher Self’, the divine holy Spirit within, my ‘original’ nature. I recently listened to the ‘Wisdom Way’ by Cynthia Bourgeault from Audible and really appreciated the description of original as that which is closest to the origin/source. Having experienced so much synchronicity lately, in a time that it seems there’s hardly anything ‘original’ to create/do/be in the way I previously understood the meaning of ‘original,’ and feeling both amazed and hopeful by the synchronicity yet also quite ‘un-original’ as a result, this new perspective and understanding of what it means to be ‘original’ has been a wonderful ‘a-ha!’
Also, having spent a lot of time focusing on ‘intuition’ as the subject of various courses and books and the idea of ‘inner tuition’ and making an effort to trust myself more, I’m finding myself shedding many old ideas about self-centeredness, reconsidering the function and possible balance of ‘ego’, and pondering ‘worthiness’ and doubts and being ‘in love’ – not with anything particular, as Ram Dass explained in another Audible, just ‘in love.’ With all this whirling through both my head and heart, I couldn’t sleep. I prayed for guidance from anywhere (intuition or seemingly external) and whether or not I should share so much of my thoughts, fears, doubts, revelations of the moment (and if I’d regret that and look back and think I sounded like a fool). Yet, I appreciate when I hear or read stories that others share about this kind of stuff. I suppose it’s the subject of fame and fortune ($$$) and ambition that had me particularly uncomfortable this time. I remember how hard it has been for me to hit publish on blog posts, to choose what stories to share in the e-zine, and especially, to be seen on video!!! I realize that I’ve been quite uncomfortable with being seen… though it may not appear that way with all that I post on social media! It has taken a big brave heart for me to share so much due to my own self doubts and lack of confidence and self acceptance. I even notice how many times I write the word/letter ‘I’ and often feel uncomfortable with it! And, finally, a few weeks after the initial paintings and thoughts about ambition and finally accepting my ‘ambition’ WITH/IN/AS LOVE, another big shift in perspective occurred and the realization that what I truly desire is ENOUGH –
to ‘be enough’ and ‘have enough’ HERE NOW! To feel worthy and to be free and able to give, love, connect, THRIVE.
I found the thoughts of the future fading away as I repeated over and over (in the dark in bed again at first) that “I am enough, I have enough here now.” I AM ENOUGH HERE NOW. I HAVE ENOUGH HERE NOW. We are enough. We have enough. I am all. I am enough. I repeated this like a mantra/prayer/blessing/affirmation. I thought about the way I often paint prayers and that prayers and well wishes were really the way I started making cards and mixed media art before ever taking a local or online course (aside from playful art with my kids). I realized that the glyph paintings I had just done were the same thing, painted prayers! It was like my creative efforts were coming full circle (and then I thought about the full moon being ‘full circle’). I went out on the back porch around midnight and it was bright enough from the mostly full moon to see enough to write in a notebook and try to get some of the thoughts out of me… so hopefully, I could finally sleep! I wrote notes and prayers. I said prayers for all of us, for all of me/life/cosmos. I went back to bed after saying a big YES, with my arms held up making a Y shape in the light of the full moon, to being enough here now.
Is there anything that you’d like to say a big Holy Yes to right now?!
The next morning (today!) while taking my son to the eye doctor (to discover he is extremely near sighted and partially color blind) we were listening to the ‘Hold Nothing Back’ audio book by Mark Nepo and he discussed the meaning and origin of the word ‘sincerity.’ I had been thinking about my ‘enough’ prayers and about the hungry children that really may not have enough here and now… wondering if I was being spoiled and naïve when I thought the night before that my prayers were worthwhile… when I decided I’d offer the painted prayers as a gift to download and print for the Harvest Full Moon… when I was thinking about a ‘declaration of interdependence’ while falling asleep. Nepo described the origin of the word sincerity having come from stone sellers filling cracks with wax to hide flaws. A sincere stone seller was one that didn’t hide the cracks/flaws. He beautifully described how being sincere means to not hide our cracks and flaws. He described it much more eloquently! This really touched me and I let out a deep breath, smiled gently, and relaxed my shoulders. I came home to write this and add the word “enough” to the 3rd canvas!
Yes, I am enough, with all my cracks and flaws, here now.
Interestingly, this new perspective to view my ambition with loving acceptance has actually enabled me to see myself more clearly… as being worthy and sincere and enough… to be more present here and now… and to actually decide to strive less and do less… and to trust more.
I’ve been working on the next (and last) Thrivival online course retreat offering for this year, which is all about “The Present.” This has inspired me to acknowledge my need to DO a little less and BE sweet like honey and happy here and now, in the present. I’ve realized that doing these Thrivivals monthly is too much for me to do while wishing to give my best to these efforts and also tend to my health and home and be present for my family. So, I’ve decided the next one, fittingly about “The Present”, will be the last one for this year. I still have so many ideas and inspiration for more so I do still plan to offer some next year, just less often.
Apparently, this Harvest Moon and Eclipse is supposed to be a good time to release and let go of anything that we need to and also to focus on what is working… to transition from limitation to freedom… to live our visions. Hence, I’ve decided to acknowledge my fears of lack, scarcity, and suffering and let them fade away with love as best I can.
One action I’m taking to honor this is choosing to make all of the Thrivival offerings from 2016 available as “Pay What You Can/Pay What It’s Worth” offerings! I want to trust and celebrate generosity and reciprocation!
I also really want anyone that would like to participate in the courses and gatherings that I offer to be able to do so! This approach enables people to pay what they can afford or actually find something to be worth.
“Imagine… Business as mutual benefits, connection and exchange… Pricing and money as less of a bargaining chip and more of a reflection of how you want to treat yourself and others.” – Ebele Mogo
“Pay What It’s Worth is about mutual respect, it is about exchange, and it is about generosity… it is a pricing system that teaches and reinforces interdependence and fair exchange.” – Tara Joyce
I’ve also thought about the fact that I want to support and be supported without accumulating ‘more stuff.’ I’ve been cleaning out so much stuff this year! A few years ago, I started asking my husband for ‘experiences’ as gifts instead of stuff. That is what led to my first local mixed media art course at the awesome folk school near our home before I had any idea that there were online courses and groups (and that’s where I learned about those, too). This is one reason I like offering online courses and gatherings (in addition to the journals full of ideas and inspiration for them)! This is also one reason that I have purchased more courses from others than I’ve had time or energy to actually do/use. I liked having a way to support the artists that were offering them without needing to find more wall space! I love all of the beauty and inspiration that fills my social media feeds from the artists I like and I love that the internet enables this without using so many resources to ship and print, etc. Yet, when I can afford to, I want to be able to give back to these writers and artists with more than a loving ‘thumbs up’ and actually help financially support these endeavors. This thinking has led me to provide a way for those that don’t want to purchase the courses or art I offer, yet still want to use money as a way to support my efforts, to do so via paypal.
The focus on thriving and the name “Thrive True” came about from a wild wish for a world where we are able to thrive together in harmony. I don’t have ‘thriving’ all figured out! I’m simply holding on to hope…one way of coping with all the suffering in the world… and saying YES to finding ways to thrive amidst the bittersweet mystery of life as best I can. Co-creating the Thrive True e-zine is one way that I try to spread more joy, encouragement, beauty, and sweetness while cooperating (vs. competing) with others!
Putting together the Thrivival online course retreats is another way I’ve tried to invite harmony, explore wonder, and nurture the mind, body & spirit in a creative way. Thrivivals are a wishful version of the ‘revivals’ so popular here where I live in the South… full of soul food to nourish and nurture a flourishing community… for the co-creative spirits inside each of us. ♡
Saying a big holy YES to joy, generosity, beauty, freedom, communion, grace, vitality, love, and life – to ENOUGH here now!
If you’d like to experiment with me and have the 3 painted prayers for personal use (as affirmations/meditations/prayers/etc), you can download the following file: painted-prayers-harvesting-enough-gift
If you know someone else that might appreciate this as well, please share this post with them using the social media links below. Thank you!
Ubuntu. ♡
Wild Wonderful Wishes,
Julia (aka Jules/Jewels)
Here is a link to the “Oh, Yeah” song mentioned earlier from the Ferris Bueller soundtrack by Yello ♪ ♫ ♪ 🙂
PS – I wrote more about the “Pay What It’s Worth” fair exchange approach shared above in an older blog post (before moving to this new site) if you are interested.
