Celebrating Loved Ones – All Souls' Day/Dia de los Muertos

The idea of taking a day to celebrate the dead, our loved ones, touches my heart and the approach as a festive celebration warms my soul.  I am new to celebrating/acknowledging All Souls’ Day and the Day of the Dead.  I have been drawn to it after experiencing the grief and loss of my Mom. It appeals to me much more than Halloween (though it’s fun to dress up any time of year!).  I found this site, http://www.celebrate-day-of-the-dead.com/, that serves as a good introduction for those of us that are new to these holidays, which states that “The Day of the Dead falls on November 1 and 2 of each year, coinciding with the Catholic holidays All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day”.

Before my Mom died, she made it clear that she didn’t want a traditional (western) funeral like the ones my Catholic grandparents had – she requested no wake, no preaching – she wanted a celebration of her life. She even chose the specific dates (her birthday and my parents’ anniversary) and a song, “Our House” by Crosby, Stills, & Nash, for the celebratory memorial gatherings.

Why limit it to just one (or two) funeral/memorial(s) shortly after death? Why not have an annual holiday to remember and celebrate our dearly beloved? I am grateful to have discovered this tradition, Dia de los Muertos, (while reading a Crafty Chica book a few years ago) and embrace it in my own way.

This year, I chose to make angels, as a tribute to the day and the beloved souls.  I had intended to make them beautiful.  However, my kids informed me that they are scarier than I intended!  I didn’t have anything specific in mind and chose not to reference any other Day of the Dead material (beyond what I’d seen in the past) in hopes of letting them emerge intuitively/naturally.  The few words in the written messages came forth as the angels evolved.

I’ve had this shape/image in my mind for over a year now that I’ve doodled over and over and call “Heartlight.” I don’t yet know what it means or has to tell me, but it reminds me of an angelic person/presence with a flame for a head and a heart for wings and upper body.

I’ve started a series of angels with this shape. I knew I wanted to make Christmas cards with my own touch this year and these angels seemed like a nice way to do so. I recently listened to the audio books by Don Miguel Ruiz ” The 4 Agreements” and “The 5th Agreement“. In these, the origin of the word/idea of angels is discussed as any “messenger”. I also have a children’s book that I love called “Everyday Angels” by Mark Kimball Moulton, which refers to the people in our ordinary days as angels. Both of these perspectives speak to me and I’ve thanked these “heartlight angels” for choosing me to portray them. 🙂

While drawing, painting, and visiting with the angels for All Souls’ Day or Day of the Dead, several thoughts went through my mind and emotions touched my heart. I share these in case doing so may be helpful to someone else. I just took a few quick notes when pausing while going through the creative process on scrap paper and share them here with a little extra explanation to hopefully make some sense.  {I also had a lengthy conversation with dear friends recently about the terminally ill woman in Oregon fighting for the right to die when she feels it is time (due to illness) instead of suffering longer than necessary.  I’m sure that discussion also impacted these thoughts.}

Initially, the song “Dance in the Graveyards”  by Delta Rae came to me reminding me to Dance in Joy! Death has forced me to learn about and reconsider ideas about detachment that I’ve struggled with while reading about Buddhist ideas. I’ve read much about death, life, heaven, religion and a variety of related ideas since my Mom’s death. I’m starting to feel differently about the concept of detachment (when before, I never wanted to even consider such, especially with respect to kids/family). I’ve expanded ideas/visions/possibilities of God/Source/Being, heaven, love, eternity, infinity, time. Not so much because I was seeking “God” (I’ve had conversations with God my entire life and an active prayer life, though maybe different than others’ approach). Nor so much seeking truth or mystery (though I do wonder!) as much as to understand people, beliefs, history, motivation, connection, wisdom, love, and life! I’ve realized my fear hasn’t really ever been of death, but a fear of pain and living in/with pain (whether myself or others, such as those I’d leave behind).

The song “I am Time” by Emily Riddle played in my head at some point and I started to think that I’m thinking too much! Then, the song “Let it Be” by the Beatles visits me… not saying “Let Go” necessarily because might feel guilty or sad to really let go, as if we could actually “let go” of the love from someone who has moved past this life into the mystic. Yet, it reminded me of a quote I found a year or so ago when scanning my senior picture (that was framed in my parents’ home).  Unfortunately, I neglected to include the author of the quote way back then, but searching online, it appears to be a variation of a statement made by Jan Glidewell.  I signed this picture before I really had any clue of the depth of wisdom the quote contains: “Never clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.”